Reviewed by Carlos Vargas, Texas Licensed Funeral Director (TFSC #119648) ·
One message instead of twenty calls
During a repatriation, the relative closest to the arrangements spends hours repeating the same news to family in two countries, and small differences between those conversations turn into rumours about dates and money. A short written update, sent to everyone at once, keeps the family working from the same facts and leaves the organizer free to deal with offices.
This builder arranges your notes into a plain message with fixed headings: what is done, what you are waiting for and from whom, what you need from the family, what you have in writing about costs, and when you will write again. It sends nothing. You copy the text into whatever your family already uses.
Write the update
Short sentences are enough. Do not type document numbers, account details or medical information.
The controls require JavaScript. You can copy the headings on this page and write the note by hand.
Quote costs only from written documents
Money is where family messages go wrong. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, funeral directors must give you price information on the telephone if you ask for it, the funeral home must give you a General Price List that is yours to keep, and it must give you a statement listing every good and service you selected, the price of each and the total cost immediately after you make the arrangements. The rule also gives you the right to buy separate goods and services instead of a package.
Those written documents are what to quote in an update. Name the document and its date, and keep charges from the funeral home apart from amounts told to you by an airline’s agent, a consulate or a funeral home abroad, because they are set by different parties and can change. If you do not have something in writing yet, say so in the message. Our costs and process guide explains the difference between those kinds of charges.
Tell relatives who can order records
Relatives abroad often ask for “a copy of the certificate” for a bank, an employer or a registry. Texas DSHS explains that certified vital records are released to immediate family members, which it defines as a child, parent or guardian, brother or sister, grandparent or spouse, or to a legal agent or representative, and that all other applicants must provide legal documentation of a direct, tangible interest. Saying in the update who in the family is ordering copies, and how many each relative needs, avoids duplicate orders and refused applications.
What the finished message contains
Select Build text when you have filled in what you can. Blank answers become a line you can complete by hand or delete.
| Part | Purpose |
|---|---|
| Heading and statement | Says the update reports what the family has been told so far, not promises |
| Where things stand | What is done, and what you are waiting for and from whom |
| What we need from you | Documents, decisions or help you are asking relatives for |
| Costs in writing | Only figures taken from a named written document |
| Next update | When you expect to write again and whom to call in between |
Avoid giving a travel or arrival date until the shipping agent has confirmed it in writing. Until then, say that it is not confirmed.
Keep it within the family
Any edit clears the previous text, so build it again after a change. The builder script does not transmit your answers or write them to browser storage; other services on this site follow their own privacy terms. The message is yours to word as you wish once you copy it, but do not type document numbers, account details or medical information into this page.
Questions about writing a family update
- Does this tool send the update to my relatives?
- No. It only builds text. You copy it into a message, an email or a printed page yourself.
- Should I tell the family when the flight will be?
- Only after the shipping agent or funeral home has confirmed it in writing. Before that, say the date is not confirmed.
- How should I report costs?
- Quote the written document and its date, such as the funeral home’s itemized statement, and keep third-party amounts separate.
