Reviewed for accuracy by Carlos Vargas, Texas Licensed Funeral Director (TFSC License No. 119648) · Last reviewed March 4, 2026 ·
The short version
Dress modestly. Arrive a few minutes before the prayer. Stand to the side during janazah (you don't join the prayer itself). Support the family at the graveside. Say "I'm so sorry for your loss." Don't bring flowers. Don't expect a reception afterward — the community will gather at the family's home or mosque informally.
What to wear
Modest, dark, covered. For men: long pants, a collared shirt or polo, no shorts. A jacket if weather permits but not required. For women: long pants or a long skirt/dress, sleeves to at least elbow-length, a neckline at or near the collarbone. A scarf over the head is appreciated at the masjid but not strictly required for non-Muslim women at janazah. Black or dark neutrals are standard; bright colors are out of place but not offensive.
Shoes will come off at the masjid. Wear shoes that slip on and off easily, and wear presentable socks or hosiery. Shoes stay on at the cemetery.
Arriving at the masjid
Come 10–15 minutes before the announced janazah time. Enter quietly. You may see congregants performing wudu (ritual ablution) — this is for the regular prayer, not for janazah specifically. Find a place at the back of the prayer hall or along the side.
You do not perform wudu, and you do not join the line of worshippers in prayer. Stand or sit quietly to the side. Many masajid have a designated area for visitors or non-Muslim attendees; if unsure, ask a congregant — they are happy to direct you.
During janazah prayer
The prayer is short — about 10 minutes. The congregants stand in rows facing the front (toward Mecca). They recite silently and make audible du'a at points. There is no bowing or prostration in janazah, unlike regular prayer; congregants stand throughout, raise their hands at four takbirs, and finish with tasleem (turning the head right and left).
Stand respectfully during the prayer. You may bow your head or close your eyes. Do not take photos. Do not speak unless absolutely necessary. When the prayer ends, wait for the family to exit first; then the casket is carried out by male family members and volunteers.
Transition to the cemetery
Family and some community members will drive to the cemetery for burial. You are welcome to follow if the family has invited you or if you feel close enough. At the cemetery, gather around the grave (men typically closer, women sometimes a few steps back depending on the family's tradition).
A brief graveside du'a is offered. The body in kafan is lowered directly into the grave (no casket at the grave in strict Islamic burial; in Texas, often a simple wooden box). Some cemeteries permit the body in kafan directly in earth; others require a grave box. Male family members often shovel the first three handfuls of earth into the grave, reciting a short du'a.
You may stand and pay your respects. You may say du'a from your own tradition silently. The entire graveside portion lasts 20–30 minutes.
What to say to the family
"I'm so sorry for your loss." is entirely appropriate. Classical Islamic condolences include "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" ("Verily to Allah we belong and to Him we return"), often used by Muslims. You are not expected to use Arabic; English works perfectly well.
Avoid: "He's in a better place" (theologically complex in Islam, better to leave unsaid); "Time heals all wounds" (well-meant but often feels hollow); "I know how you feel" (even if true, not what grieving people usually want to hear). Simple, brief, specific is best: "Your mother was a wonderful woman. I'll miss her."
Gifts and gestures
Flowers are unusual at Muslim funerals and not particularly welcomed. Do not send. Instead: bring food to the family's home in the days following, offer practical help (grocery runs, childcare, rides to the masjid), or give a donation to a cause meaningful to the deceased in their name. Many families appreciate sadaqah (charity) given in the deceased's name — a donation to their favorite masjid, school, or cause.
If the family is hosting visitors in the three days following the funeral, bringing a dish of food is very appropriate. Something that can be easily reheated and fed to many people: rice, stew, biryani, pasta, or a large fruit platter.
The days following
The Muslim community will visit the family home for three days after the burial. Non-Muslim friends are welcome during this time. Short visits are best — 20 to 40 minutes. Sit with the family, accept food or tea if offered, share a memory of the deceased, offer practical help, and leave. Your presence matters more than your words.
The fortieth-day gathering (chelum) may also happen. Non-Muslim friends are often invited. The same norms apply: modest dress, respectful presence, brief words.
Common questions from non-Muslim attendees
Do I need to take off my shoes?
Yes, at the masjid. A shoe rack or shelves are near the entrance. Not at the cemetery.
Can I take photos?
No, not during janazah or burial. Some families permit photos at the three-day home gatherings; ask first. Never photograph the deceased or the casket.
Will there be a eulogy?
Usually not in the Western sense. The imam may say a few words about the deceased, but there is no extended eulogy. Islamic tradition emphasizes du'a for the deceased rather than public praise.
What if I don't want to stay for the burial?
Attending janazah and skipping burial is perfectly acceptable. Shake the family's hand or embrace briefly before leaving, offer condolences, and go.
Is there a reception or meal?
Not formally. The family typically hosts visitors at their home informally for the following three days, with food provided by the community. The funeral itself is brief; the mourning-support is in the home.